Today is one of those days when am trying to get my praise and prayer on but for some reason I can’t connect. Have you ever felt like that? I want an ocean of encouragement a hug 🤗 and so much love to tell me you gat this! I long for a spring/Ocean/ sea of encouragement. Makes me understand how addicts are trying so hard to leave the habits that they created but keep falling back down and the down hits so hard that it almost feels hard to get up. How can one live with out the saving blood of Christ. How can one think they can walk the journey of life without a loving shepherd? The realities of this life can hit hard but only Christ Jesus can help you absorb the shock. As I sit in hospital, thinking about the many times I have tried and fallen short on my health growth plan makes me understand that I could never have done it alone. I needed soooo much discipline and help from Christ Jesus. How could have I kept my shepherd from this Journey? I keep thinking it could have been worse am tempted to think am alone but I know his mighty army of angels surrounds me as a shield 🛡. The Lord cares about me so much that he shall not allow the enemy to steal from me. As I start on a new journey I hope I will be that spring/ocean/sea of encouragement to those that cannot find their voice in prayer. To those that are knocked off balance by past choices. To those that have fallen face down. To those that have hit rock bottom. To those that can’t see their worth. To those that are alone. To those that fall back into the addiction, my father is a very loving father and a very very good shepherd he will not let His children stumble. Even as we go through the valley of the shadow of death we shall not fear because his Rod and staff they comfort us. He is a very good shepherd he will get us home safely.

Today I got diagnosed by a chronic condition. I went to hospital casually thinking I was okay hoping that I would be up and back to my feet quickly only to be called aside by the laboratory technician (a situation that never happens) to ask me if I knew about the condition. Honestly I didn’t think much into it until the doctor went into emergency mode and I was thinking he was overly dramatic. Immediately I was admitted and then it hit me that the Doctors were serious. My mind went to my children I needed to hold them close to me and tell them that I love them so much. The other thing that went through my mind was I had failed my body and it was failing me. Honestly I needed immediate encouragement I kept believing for this not to be true but a second test confirmed the nightmare. I remember the way the Doctor delivered the news felt cold and emotionaless I wanted to shout back and tell him that this was not my portion. I ended up preaching to the Jr nurse telling him how he needed Christ that heals and cures the body. Honestly my hope is in Christ alone, it’s only him that can bring my body back into balance. I have seen him move so mightly in the lives of my children. I have a very loud family, hospital time means loud, laughter, teasing and bullying and gwe get up carry your mat and walk!This wasn’t the case this time round. They heard the Doctor talk to me and after he left there was dead silence in the room! Each of my siblings and my mum came to me one at a time encouraging me to trust in the Lord. Hmmm I rejoice in the Lord and again I say Alex rejoice!

I recently attended a training on mental health and one of the things that caught my attention was artificial scarcity. The professor kept teaching and highlighting how he had counseled so many parents who always made a very interesting statement of “I gave my child everything”. As he talked I evaluated myself and I had actually made this same statement so I paid attention more to understand his perspective. As he continued to lecture he told us about this young man that had studied in an international school and further learning in the United States only to come back and he was using drugs. This one time the young man went to the supermarket and stole a chocolate bar worth 10,000 and immediately he was got there was an escalation of the matter to police and they needed his parents to pay 500,000 in order for the young man to be released and so the statement came back, his parents frustrated thinking of everything that they had given him! The professor paused a question asking if giving children everything is what solved their problems and the answer was certainly not. He went a head to explain about creating an artificial scarcity situation in our homes. That’s when I really leaned in to listen, he advised to for example instead of meat eat cabbage, dodo as soup 😂😂😂 when I calculated how much I would be spending on soups the money was significantly going to reduce. So I tried it out, instead of bread I bought popcorn and gnuts. Instead of beans, meat etc we actually ate cabbage, dodo and the kids loved it! Guess what it was cheaper with the way January was looking as if, this was the solution! We had more than enough I must say. I no longer hear my son say mummy we don’t have bread for breakfast he has learnt how to make popcorn 🍿 and it’s working. I feel so free not being worried about 10,000 not being enough to feed a family of 8 yes 8 we even bless our neighbors 😂

I have always been excited about adult learning but for some reason the stories I had heard about Harvest Institute made me stay so far from taking the leadership course. When I received my first assignment that involved reading two books, It felt like I had forgotten to read but as I dug into the books, it took me back to my childhood experience; my father loved to read and he always emphasized the need for us to read all sorts of literature. Honestly getting to read, felt like I was in the right place. Fast forward Saturday 14 January. I literally woke up at 4am parked my babies up and off we were to my mum’s house, I could not afford to be late plus I wanted the front seat. When I arrived I found my friends, oh it was so refreshing it was catch up time, before serious business. The session started off with taking selfies, and dancing it was all fun. The day started off on a high note. As Apostle Moses started to teach my goodness the self evaluation started, my imaginative mind immediately came up with an evaluation template. Obviously you guessed right I was scoring low on most of the things being talked about! what a shook. I immediately got into a place where I understood What I had to do immediately to move from the red zone of my template to green. I wrote down my immediate action points and off I was implementing. My husband has been asking me what’s going on as I put the house upside down in the right way. My Pastor Was wondering what is happening to me for the first time I was early and happy at garage. I must say I was challenged on day 1 not to be a momentum taker but one that makes. I also learned to take back my pen and here I am putting my pen to use. I honestly look forward to my next class.